Oprah at the O House

Just had an aha moment. WHY THE HELL IS OPRAH COMING TO AUSTRALIA?? I mean %$&*(@)%!*@?

Don’t get me wrong. I love the Opes, really I do. She talks diets, decluttering, books and positivity. She’s like an on-screen barbie doll with constantly changing outfits, hair and diameters. There’s nothing wrong with living your best life. There’s nothing wrong with coming to Australia.

But at taxpayers expense? And 300 members of the audience? Why are we promoting Australia to people who don’t have jobs, let alone passports? And now that their dollar is approximately on par with the Vietnamese Dong, Oprah would be better off going to Guatemala. And we would be better off bringing out a chat show host in Korea, one of our biggest sources of inbound tourism. Sure, not sexy, but a whole lot more cost effective and it might just work.

This is why we don’t have trains, hospitals or schools. It’s because we keep holding parties that we’re not even invited to: APEC, World Youth Day and now Oprah. It’s getting very difficult to lead my best life here. Tourism Australia – what the bloody hell were you thinking?

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