SBS late night movies have long been code for soft porn. Where else can you get a bit of Euro nudity without going to the Sistine Chapel?
If anyone says they were up last night watching SBS, well say no more – nod nod wink wink – they may as well have said they dropped into Hugh Heffner’s place overnight. Game on.
But has anyone actually watched this stuff lately? Because quite frankly, there’s a hell of a lot more nudity in an average session of CSI Miami.
SBS movies I’ve seen lately are sadly lacking in the nudity stakes, but are quite mad. Take Grimm, some kind of Austro-Hungarian attempt to tell a tale of the Grimm fairy tale for modern times. Talk about bizarre – if you like to watch a brother and sister running around in lumpy jumpers, speaking in grunts and eating lots of stew, then it’s just fine.
Take a Spanish movie I saw recently: a sad tale about a tubby couple who don’t really like each other that much, can’t pay the rent but decide to make a movie together on a beach. Sure, it fills up two hours, but so does root canal therapy.
The days of SBS being the sexy station have gone out the window. These days it’s more like the ABC, only dressed up in a slightly newer cardigan. I’m not complaining (well I am), but programs like Dateline, Oz and James Big Wine Adventure, Heston’s Feasts are all fine programs, but sexy? Nah.
So if you’re after a bit of a flirty sexy telemovie, don’t do SBS late night, you’re better off watching Hawaii Five-O. And aloha to that.