Man Vs Wild drives me wild – and not with desire

Bear Grylls Man Vs Wild is pure comedy. I mean who – and I am not making this up – gives themself a colonoscopy on a dingy? Not to mention ingesting handfuls of live cockroaches and doing backflips on cracking ice to demonstrate survival techniques.

As I say – comedy. Trouble is Bear seems to take it seriously. How anyone can say with a straight face: “I’m just going to squeeze my body through a dark cave the size of a pencil to eat some crunchy bat poo” is beyond me. But he does!

Then every so often, in between ludicrous statements, he’ll say something that is meant to be a lightbulb moment, but just leaves me saying, what the %^&*? Such as the other night he was skirting around a very high ledge and he said: “If I fall it will hurt.”

You think? So how come you won’t get hurt knocking back weasel wee and chowing down on rat sashimi? Or backflipping into an active volcano? How about some perspective Bear?

Also Bear, despite saying on his website that he has excellent people skills, seems to have the personality of a freeze-dried meal. His delivery is monotonous, any sense of humour is missing in action or been edited out (if he can’t see the funny side of bat poo then I can’t help him) and he is just getting weirder and weirder. Case in point; shipboard enema. Plus, he’s been taking off his clothes an awful lot lately for no good reason, consequently we’ve seen a lot of his pixellated bum.

I do admire what he does, I like the scenery of the places he goes, but for me, the real hero is the cameraman. He does everything Bear does, but with a camera, and has to film Bear routinely taking all his clothes off plus put up with Bear. If that’s not a logie-winning performance, I don’t know what is.

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