A skinny rant on jeans shop assistants

In my quest for some non-skinny jeans I’ve been spending more time than is sanity-producing in jeans shops.

And because I’m searching for a rare item – non-skinny jeans – I have to talk to the shop assistant. Shop assistants in jeans shops are invaraibly young, pretty (for the moment), wearing an armour of denim and an attitude that could well solve the world’s global warming problems.

In the pre-skinny jeans era, shopping at jeans shops was not a problem. I could find what I wanted to try on and either walk out or buy it, which could all be transacted in grunts. But now … I have to ask questions. Do you have any non-skinny jeans? Do you have flare? Do you have bootleg? Does straightleg mean skinny? Are your sizes big or small? And what is a bum pump? (I am not making this up).

Every question in young blond shop assistant land is like totally a personal affront that you should deign to talk to her. What are you thinking talking? Don’t you know what a Boot Sunday Radiance Wash is? Or a Demi Straight Nightfall? Not to mention a Slim Extra Shade Love Boat? Denim Straight Indigo Intrigue?

Anyway, in the end I bought the jeans (Mod Demi Boot Agate), in fact I got two pairs. Because I don’t want to go back for a very long time.