Loads of dosh – ask any adman

Budget cuts and we have no money is a common catchcry. From the government to any self-respecting banana muncher, the piggy bank has run dry.

Really? Because if the mining industry has paid $22 million dollars worth of advertising to stop the mining tax, well someone has some money. Mining magnates and adpeeps for a start, and possibly extended to Shane Warne and the Masterchef franchise and a roof restorer based in FNQ. Then there’s all those people (anyone willing to come forward?) who Tony Abbott wants to donate money to stop paying money.

So, actually there is loads of moolah floating around but it’s being spent on things that adpeeps like. So that would be ecstasy tablets and any bar run by Justin Hemmes.

As for flood rebuilding, cyclone rebuilding, public education, hospitals, swimming pools or public anything – including outrage – forget about it. As usual the taxpayer gets slugged. But here’s the thing – the people knocking back ecstasy and drinking banana dacquiris chez Hemmes are getting richer by the vatload.

We may as well bring out Silveo Berlusconi to come fix the mess. Why not? We have the drugs and as for the Mafia bribes and underage prostitutes – Joe Tripodi can fix the rest.