Polished floorboards hard on hearing

What is the deal with polished floorboards? I mean I get the deal, really I do. They’re easy to clean, look good, go with anything and can turn a dag-o-rama old pub into something edgy, pared back and other words that would sound good on Better Homes and Gardens.

Trouble is … you can’t hear a word. Now this is ok, good actually if say, Tony Abbott is talking about well, anything really.

Bad if you want to hear what someone is saying or attempt an actual conversation. How many marriage proposals have fallen through the cracks because no-one could hear? How many crucial conversations, business deals and other opportunities have been cut down by these conversation-inhibiting planks of wood.

Let’s start a new tax – 20 per cent off the bill if an eatery/function centre or anywhere other than a Forestry Department Museum has polished floorboards. Now – that wood be good.