A big fat rant on skinny jeans

Skinny jeans, skinny jeans, skinny jeans. Wherever I go in the shops are skinny jeans. After a flare? Bootleg? A flattering straight leg pant? Sorry wrong decade, wrong universe and definitely wrong shop. The choice is this: skinny or retro baggy pant (think skinny jeans with hip darts – flattering NOT!!).

What’s wrong with skinny jeans? Well, unless you look like Nicole Kidman (ie a tall, skinny glass of milk) you cannot pull it off. OK, teenagers can get away with it. For now. But no-one else. Let’s take an attractive, well-dressed woman of a certain (which really means uncertain) age, put them in skinny jeans and they look like they are on work experience – as an assistant clown.

I need a new pair of jeans and last week spent nearly five hours looking and tried on around 30 pairs of jeans. Nil, nada, niente, zip. I came home with big fat skinny jeans induced nausea. We are meant to live in a free society here so why are there only skinny jeans on sale? It’s not good ole communist Russia! This is meant to be the great age of choice.

Either give us some real choice where it matters (the butt department) or let’s move onto to the next fad. Flattering flares, please.